$3500 is a pretty big incentive...

Especially when you're just barely making ends meet with your hostessing job(s), and you can't get ANYONE to respond to the resumes you keep flinging out into cyberspace flaunting all of your experience in education and administration...

But, you know, in all honesty, I don't want a job in education and/or administration. I want to be a musician. I have been working for YEARS at being a musician and am currently recording cd #4. Do I make money doing this? Well... money, yes. A living wage, no. Do I want to quit? No, I don't. So, in the meantime while I search for the job I don't really want in order to afford the job I DO want, I smile and seat people for a few hours at a restaurant everyday, and then scour craigslist - every unemployed person's bff - a few times a week to see what's "out there". Lo and behold a few weeks ago, I saw this:

"Healthy Caucasians for Medical Study. $3500 Compensation"

I opened it up, and inside it said very little, just essentially, "Email us with your number and we'll call you back soon." I went to a little meeting after they called me and I met the height and weight requirements (thank God) and the next step was a full physical examination. I took the full physical - noting that it was free and I don't have insurance, so, yay! - and this last week got a call that I'm very healthy, and therefore am a shoe-in for the study.

I'll get into more details later, but here's the gist of it: Roche pharmaceuticals, the Swiss giants of medical industry that they are, are constantly enlisting people such as myself to test how the body eliminates a certain new drug once they've tested its efficacy and general safety on both animals and "effected" populations. There is a clinic here in Orange County that is used specifically for the purpose of conducting clinical trials, and Roche always uses this company (as I'm sure other pharmaceutical companies do, as well.) This is a hepatitis-C medication which will be used in combination with a current hepatitis-C medication to hopefully increase it's efficacy. Given in outlandish doses to animals, the worst side-effects were diarrhea and vomiting. Given in human doses to hep-C effected people, the side-effects were nausea and lack of appetite. (Lemme just say, if I can get some of the latter side effect, I will not complain.) Doctors have assured us all that they anticipate absolutely no side effects, and that the purpose of the study is to simply see how our bodies eliminate it, and to see if the elimination process is similar to that of those infected with hep-C. As an interesting side note, they are also testing healthy Japanese people. From what I understand, it will be the Caucasian group for the first 7 days, and then the Japanese come in to join us. They didn't test us for racial tolerance, so I'm hoping that won't be an issue with some of my soon-to-be friends.

I am not afraid. I researched it enough, and am not concerned about the resulting health of my body. In fact, many of us will be receiving a placebo, though of course we won't know who until after the study is completed, but the possibility exists that nothing foreign will be entering my body at all. However, I am a little, um, "concerned" that I am going to go absolutely nuts being sequestered in a tiny clinic for 13 days and 12 nights with no friends, no visitors, no outside time, and no independence. That's all part of the deal, folks. I will have unlimited internet and telephone access, but cannot actually "see" anyone or "go" anywhere. I will be stuck with strangers in a relatively small space for almost 2 weeks and cannot escape them. Not that I anticipate wanting to, but you can already imagine I'm sure how many other crazy people out there (like me) are doing this. I'm not sure how much fun they're going to be to hang out with. Although they could be massively fun. Maybe I will meet my husband. "How did you two meet?" "Oh, it's the funniest story..." Regardless of how happy or sad it may be, if I can survive it, then at the end of the race, I get a $3500 check. And considering my financial welfare at this juncture, it is kind of a no-brainer that I at least attempt it.

So, I invite you on this journey. Blogging about it will make me feel more journalistic, more apt to hang in there, and less guineapiggish. Although, who am I kidding? I mean, I will still be poked and prodded and analyzed. The powers that be will not be too concerned with my name or my talents, my hopes and dreams. They'll be more interested in the color of my urine sample and whether or not I drank all of my orange juice.

It all starts this Friday, September 24th, when I will check into the facility in the morning, not to leave again until October 5th. It's Tuesday night now... the countdown begins...